Cult of Ffynche
Non Est Festinandum
"Veneration Of The Bust" ceremony 2018
Old Perce: The Father Of Recycling
The Bust is adored only during the 18th year of each century, and is now carefully stored in the Cult vault until 2118. (Ale-consumption training for the next centennial event is already underway for nursery-age children, who can be inducted on application to the High Pope.)
The golden figure is believed to be a flattering representation of Percy Vestibule Brakewynde, the disgraced 7th Earl of Bottom End and hero of Ffynche lore.
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On the eve of the 1718 Insertion Ritual, 'Old Perce' was obliged to renounce any further claim to his hereditary title as a condition of Cult membership. At the request of Elders, he marked the occasion with a 72-pint ale consumption session over 24 hours — a requirement nowadays considered the second minimum membership obligation for all applicants from the nobility, and berks from the peerage.
In a final destructive display before turning his back on the dissolute lifestyle of the Bottom-Ender aristocrats, Old Perce smashed each
drained glass in the Lion Inn fireplace, leaving Cult Elders without an adequate supply of drinking vessels. (Scars on the brickwork around the chimney alcove can still be seen.)
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An edict issued a week later forbade any repetition of such wanton destruction. All types of drinking vessel were henceforth protected by this ancient regulation, and must be returned to the bar regardless of the degree of intoxication of the user, or their hereditary rank. The edict is renowned as the first piece of re-cycling legislation known in Britain.
The 2018 celebration, attended by many hundreds of adherents, unfortunately yielded just this single photographic record. It was taken by Bella Spatchcock, aged 8, at dawn on Insertion Day that year, while searching for her father amid prostrate mounds of adult venerators.
