Cult of Ffynche
Non Est Festinandum
Sonic BOOM Across Essex Skies!
By Maree Frost-Botham
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Essex Chronicle (online edition) 12th January 2021
Shocked residents have taken to social media and angrily waving their fists in the air after a huge sonic boom was heard over Essex.
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Whilst initially concerned that the annual Finchingfield Tuba appreciation society had gathered early and broken tuba playing social distance rules (confirmed as illegal in government u-turn #238 by Matt Hancock, 10th November 2020), this was quickly ruled out after the RAF took responsibility for launching Typhoon aircraft.
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An RAF spokesman stated that ‘Typhoon aircraft were launched from RAF Coningsby to intercept a civilian aircraft that had lost communications’
At first this would appear a logical explanation of such a loud noise.
However, the Chronicle has links with ‘Q-Agog’ the English branch of Q-Anon (the popular American alt-right conspiracy group) and reached out to its sources to get their take on the thundering disturbance in our skies.
Andrew Hackerbiscuit from Great Barfield happily provided his opinion:
'All this talk of Typhoons distracts from the real issue of Boris Johnson and Richard Branson using the COVID vaccine to accelerate the national need for sustainable transport options post Brexit'
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Meanwhile the Chronicle will keep its ear to the skies for any more roars from the heavens.
