Cult of Ffynche

 

by Rusty Steele, Washington

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Justice Orren P. Wurlitzer III yesterday ordered the CIA to disclose all internal memos regarding its relations with an obscure UK-based mature student faculty called The Zimmerman Institute.

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The case seems likely to force further disclosures about a hitherto secret unit within the intelligence service, the Highly Classified Neuro-Infiltration Force.

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Reporters nevertheless remain baffled about the Transatlantic connection. Among many wild conspiracy theories circulating online counterintelligence boards, only one yields verifiable facts and plausible explanations.

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The picture became a little clearer last week after a group of former students threatened legal action against the British-based institute.

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Accompanying witness statements suggest attendees were repeatedly forced to listen to reversed recordings of Bob Dylan. Over several years, they claim, they have repeatedly heard every single backwards minute of the entire archive of the US artist’s studio, live and bootleg performances.

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The victims allege they were under 'enormous pressure' to search for deliberately disguised 'special signs' left by the song and dance man — much as the Beatles can be heard backwards on 'Lady Madonna' incanting items from a grocery shopping list.

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After months of intensive 'arsewaysabout' listening, as the British vernacular has it, students discovered the first and only clear back-to-front words in their many years of effort. The 'secret sign' came during a show on November 5,1999, in Pittsburgh PA.

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Just before the third chorus of 'Cocaine Blues', Dylan appears to stifle a sneeze, gag slightly and then use a curse-word. But played backwards, the sound is uncannily clear: the words 'Cult of Ffynche' are uttered, in the distinctive theatrical Minnesotan drawl.

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The intonation in the phrase has been interpreted by social media enthusiasts as reverential on Dylan’s part. His delivery and phrasing is compared to that of his words 'Pillbox Hat' in the original studio version of the famous anti-taxidermy anthem.

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In an effort to keep the discovery secret, students were asked to refer only to the backwards version of their 'sign', hence the use of 'Hcnyfff' in numerous emails and WhatsApp exchanges between the researchers.

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Routine internet surveillance is believed to have triggered alarms at the NSA, where the Neuro-Infiltration unit was known only to a handful of senior analysts.The CIA’s involvement came later, after it dispatched agents to enrol as students.

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It was feared the Institute had cracked top-secret communications systems containing references to the mind-programming American military unit. Red flags were again raised when it was discovered that an associate of the institute’s leader had been under surveillance by British authorities since the 1980s. Others too appear to have tangled with the law, despite an outward appearance of respectability.

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Recently leaked excerpts of messages sent and received by the CIA operatives during their 12-month under-cover operation in 2016 have already painted a lurid picture of the institute’s training methods.

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Its academic director is described as often lecturing dressed in florescent pink and yellow road-racing Lycra or Edwardian smoking jackets with leather elbow patches. Leading public figures are repeatedly denounced during fiery subversive diatribes —spoken in a dialect that CIA agents speculate might be Welsh.

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His real name is unknown. The only hint in the leaked messages is to a person called Moondog, but several other mysterious titles are mentioned.

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The sometimes argumentative tone of student discussion about their leader’s name suggests they may have been asked to propose their own nicknames for him, only to have them repeatedly rejected. One message refers to 'The Artist formerly known as Moondog', but there the trail runs out.

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There is also some suggestion in the leaked messages that four of the CIA agents may have 'gone native'. But their defenders in social media claim they are still working on the mind-control project, and loyal to their oaths of service.

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In this complex world of double and triple agents, the judge’s ruling may eventually help untangle the real affiliations of those involved.

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Controversy over the secretive Zimmerman Institute is growing in the UK too. Local reporters in rural north Essex are hearing rumours that unsuspecting villagers are being drawn into ritual gatherings under the name of the 'Cult of Ffynche'. German and US fans of artists by the name of Finch or Fyncha have also been unwittingly lured into the disinformation-mill.

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But local dignitaries from the region dismiss the murmurings of villagers. 'The whole thing’s utter nonsense,' says Alderman Ernest Throbwhistle, OBE. 'All this talk of bringing love to the world through challenging rituals, not to mention ludicrous insertion ceremonies, is pure titillating bunkum and a stain on our patriotic community.'

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The CIA has until November next year to prepare a full disclosure.

 

Dylan has yet to comment.